the numbers game

I been at 140lbs for last 4months and so frustrated because I have working out and eating right and scale hasn't moved. I mean it goes from 140lbs to 138lbs than back to 140lbs. I just don't get it! It funny my BMI and my body fat percentage is the same which is 22.9% I have never had them be the same numbers before. I guess I shouldn't be upset about being 140lbs but my goal weight is 135lbs and I'm so close to my goal weight that I can taste it and I just want it so bad! I mean I know I will get there in time a year ago I was 15lbs away from my goal weight so 5lbs is so much better than 15lbs but have you ever wanted something so bad you cant seem reach it quite yet?

Besides working out and eating right I have been very happy with my progress but I'm  in love. I found the love of my life and I'm madly love with him. Funny thing is we met at gym and he is a personal trainer and sexy as hell. He not trainer at my gym but he owns his own personal training business. And if you wondering if I get workout from him I don't. I don't really ask but I do ask for guidance here and there. We are very happy with each other. I never thought I would meet the love my life at gym but I guess its expected since my life been so dedicated to getting healthier and more in shape that it could be expected. But still I'm so glad I meet him even though when I first meet him I didn't do anything do with him. LOL my first impression of him wasn't very high. I thought he was sexiest pig. LOL I'm so glad that I looked past him being a sexiest pig he actual isn't sexiest pig at all. He actually the most sweetest guy n has big heart. What I liked about him most before talking to him was his smile. What can I say Im sucker for smiles. He has such sexy smile it makes feel so good inside.

what a rush.... HERO RUSH

What a rush! today I did my very first obstacle course run/ 5K! aka Hero Rush this been a goal of mine for over a year and today I did it! and damn I feel pretty damn good about it! I really surprised myself. I did it 1hr 44minutes and 53seconds. I was place 1163 overall, 469th out 1196 women and 264th out 631 women between ages of 21 to 34. I ran for about a mile than walked or ran walked the rest of time (the course was 3.5 miles). The running really killed me. That one thing I really didnt train for. Oh well its all good. Im not upset.  We ran though some pretty everything like nasty stuff like mud, creeks, HUGE mud puddles and of course grass no big deal there.  The obstacles were challenging but a good challenge. The only one I really had real trouble with and cheated on was climbing up the rope. Instead I climbed up the scaffolding because I really have not good upper body strength but I'm currently training on getting better upper body stregth and working on by doing assistant pull ups. I really like all obstacles but I think one I like best was slide down into a pool of water. It was crazy rush and I loved it! I cant wait do it next year! The pictures below are of my racing results and my shirt that I got, my racing bib and metal. Now that finished this goal I need set I need set another long term goal. I'm almost at my goal weight. I guess one could be do a obstacle course run every year and once I feel ready do the tough mudder. Which is the grand daddy of obstacle course runs. I did this one by myself. I defently want have team or someone do with me next time around. I pushed myself the whole time during this race but it nice have someone with you and push you along. It funny I never though I would do something like but I guess you cant never anymore. Like who would think Ill be doing this? not me... LOL



yea baby!







my shirt, running bib and metal



the taste of victory

For while I felt I hit a plateau and things have just slowed down and I should just focus on maintaining everything but after taking closer look to where I was a exactly a year ago from today I can definitely say there no plateau but differently a huge change! Here what I mean (see below)

April 21, 2012

158lbs of body weight

31% body fat

April 21, 2013

141.5 lbs of body weight
23% body fat

TOTAL LOST:
16lbs of body weight lost
8% of body fat lost


I'm so proud of myself! when I start this journey back in 2006 I really never thought I would be where I am now. Over the years I told myself try get back to my original weight of 135lbs of body weight before all this crazy amount of weight came packing on. I'm about 6.5lbs away from my goal weight. I have worked so far it kind feel so real to me because if asked me 6 years ago if I would be able loss 63lbs and be a gym enthusiast I would laugh in your face because losing 70lbs sounded impossible. But once I became I decided to working out and keep health I set little goals for myself. I like try get to 170lbs than 160lbs than 150lbs and for this month I had goal weigh at least 145 and I did that and crushed it! So my goal for June and July is get 135lbs and body fat% of 20-18% body fat. I'm so close to my goal I know I can do it. And once I get there its going be maintenance and build more muscle.

I have learned though out this process that you need goals that are realist and that you know you can be able achieve one day. And it helps have supportive people in life that can cheer you on when you are feeling down BUT there has be one cheerleader that should never let you down. Yes I had support from my parents and my friends and yes I hired trainer(s) who supported/pushed me but we all know how that went. But you know who pushed me the most? ME that right ME because I believed in myself and I knew I could do it. And that one cheerleader that should never let you down. I know it a lot easier to say than do because its so easy to give up. But this something you really want! I mean really want. I pushed myself when no one else did. I push myself go to gym 5 to 6x a week and to eat right. I will first to admit being yourself cheerleader is very difficult and picking yourself up when your feeling down can be impossible but you can't let yourself do that. The key of success is to keep your eyes on the prize and you will get there one day I promise you that. Shit it has taken me almost 6 years to get where now so I know all to well how hard it can be. I have learned alot though this whole road of getting health but one needs to believe in oneself because if you don't you will never will be able move forward or achieve your goals. I'm not saying having your family, friends, your kids, or trainer can't be support or cheering squad but you have believe in yourself too because who are you really doing this for? you or them? your answer should be YOU! 

Once you start taste victory keep going because you will get to goal before you know it! and you can be popping bottles and celebrating but remember it wont happen over night it going take time and patience. If you loss to fast you will not learn how maintain and keep the weight off instead you will gain it back and them some. Also don't buy into those 'magic pills' aka weight loss pills or appetite supplements or water pills because you wont loss the weight you will loss your money and your dignity. I know this from personal experience. I was too so despite to loss weight I tried every diet pill out there thinking it could help boost the weight loss when it actually what it did was filled pockets of manufacturers who made that crap.


Just remember stay postitive and your own cheerleader!

workout videos

last summer my ex trainer made some videos of me doing some of workout we would do so I can see what I need work on or how my form looks. And in few my workouts you can see I really need work on form verse others. Like when I do plank/sit up blurpee in video #2 my form is horrible. I need really work on that!  I think Ill try tomorrow in my workout (LOL). My lunges now are not as shakey like they were in video. I was taking way too big of steps when I was doing those lunges. I shouldof know better. Oh well. And those Abs kicks are hard! but it you really feel it in your core. I really like that one. I really like think I have come pretty far since last summer. These videos also kind give you glimps of what I did for some of my workouts. Currently my workouts consisant of mostly weight training and working on muscle growth  and strength verse in the video(s) it mix of little bit of everything. My ex trainer had made 6 short videos and what you will see in the video how I clump them all together and made 2 sepreate videos about 1minute each and add music to them. Both videos are very simular but one of videos I add two extra workouts that I forgot to add in the first one. So let me know what you think. Enjoy!

Caroline's workout video #2
Caroline's workout video #1

challenage

I recently accept a challenge from a friend of mine and I'm little nervous that I may not be able beat the challenge but again things always seem to surprise me lately so who knows. The challenge is in 60days I will have loss 10lbs and he will have loss 15lbs. The reason I'm nervous is because I have loss 10lbs two months (60days) that about 1/2 lb to 1lb a week. I mean its doable because I have already lost 6lbs since January but that going almost 3months ago. I may need more than 60days! (LOL) Bottom line is I just really need step up my diet and really push myself even more at gym. I mean I'm pushing myself that's not problem it just I need push it more and with more intensity! Like today a one guys I see a lot gym who works out around same time I do him and his exercise partner who also have some pretty good workouts anyways not that age is number but there  probably in there 50s or so anyways he was asking me today if I'm doing anymore impressive workouts because last week sometime I was doing wide leg squats in the Smith Machine with leg ups. It nearly killed me and my hamstrings and quads were burning afterwords but it was great workout! I told him not today but I do need step up my workouts. He laugh and said well that workout was impressive you got one hell of trainer. I smiled and said yea but I actual tweak his original workout he give me. I don't really have trainer but I got one heck someone very special to me who gives me great workouts! What I really need to do is watch my diet and not have some mine 'cheats' that I enjoy some much like a little white or milk chocolate here and there or something with that has simply complex carbs or something that starchy and salty aka cheese its. I'm generally a pretty good eater for the most part it just I should eat more things with a lot more protein in it so I can feel full because sometimes I have been snacking on things I shouldn't be craving. Like today I was craving chocolate chip cookies when I was at Trader Joe's earlier so instead I got oatmeal raisin which not too bad is little healthier than a chocolate chip cookie. (LOL). Well wish me luck on challenge once I loss my last 10lbs its going fucusing on gaining lean muscle mass. Now I'm not trying look like the Rock or what have you but have nice set of guns (arms) and nice ass. (LOL) than be able maintain the rest! Well we see how this challenge goes and David good luck to you! As they say Train Hard Or Go Home!

inspiration comes from you when no one else will push you

I love this video! it was a true inspirational and

I'm determine to look one those women in that video.

  Since I have become more focus and working out more I truly love how my body has transformed into something amazing that my body can be able look that way. This best shape I can remember but I feel great about myself. My self esteem is larger in life but I still have some in securities like that I still have pooch or that my triceps's are still giggle. But Im determine and I'm not going have that stop me I'm still going push myself to the limits and work harder every time I go to gym. My diet is still a struggle for me. I do eat pretty health for the most part but I still have my cravings for sweets and crabs (simple). I can say it's been long time since I had something from McDonald's or some other fast food place aka process food. It feels great but I still eat some junk like a week before my period I crave all sort crazy shit like white chocolate, potato chips and anything that salty. So I wouldn't say my diet is perfect because I still love to eat but it not all like what it used to be.

I know it's not take over night to look like those women in the video. I have been at it since August 2011 so it will take time. I know if I really watch what I ate and ate very healthy and clean I would like that in heart beat but again I love food too much so it kind difficult but in time I will get way I want be. Im weight Im happy with and now I just want want build muscle.

58lbs and counting

Today I had my yearly appointment with my endocrinologist it always joy seeing her when I go b/c she tell me how proud she is of me and how far I have come. I started seeing her in 2006 and when I first sow Dr. Hakim I was 205 I believe she said and to date I'm 147lbs which I means I have lost 58lbs since my heaviest weight. That almost 60 fucking pounds! that rough 8.5lbs a year! that crazy. I done all of it by myself with just diet and exercise. Dr. Hakim said she so proud me and can't get over how I took charge and control my pre - diabetes. She said that its very impressive and that should be proud of self. I am if asked me 7 years ago to loss 60lbs I would said your out fucking mind. I wasn't quiet focus than.I wasn't mentally not there. It's funny I made facebook status about how I lost 58lbs in 7 years and Colleen Biggs who I went high school with said it took you 7 years loss that much weigh?. I was really upset by that b/c losing weight it no easy. The Biggest Losser shows people losing 60lbs in first week but that is so unrealistic b/c there working out 12 hours day and eating next nothing verse me I'm working out 1 to 2hr day and balance meal. Plus Dr. Hakim said its better loss it steady and little at time b/c you will have chance of not gaining back b/c you learn how maintain you weight which alot people on The Biggest Losser don't learn after the fact and after they gain some of their weight back. I mean shit I'm proud it look me 7 years to almost 60lbs and I'm still losing so go fuck yourself Coleen you don't know shit! LOL

Honestly since I started working out more I feel so sexy in my own skin and feel more confident. I mean I'm not crazy about my gutt but hell its whole better than it was almost 60lbs ago. I will loss my gutt in time I just really need focus on my diet! than my gutt will get smaller. LOL

not afarid anymore step on the scale